Irlanti.
Ote kaverini lähtömailista. Sanoo melkolailla paljon ja asiaa Irlannista. Nauttikaa ja naurakaa, mutta muistakaa että tämä on totta:
And finally some Notes, that Ireland and work has rised in my mind during this 1½ years.
Living & Lifestyle:
• Heating systems: Equalizing energy between the wall. You really shouldn't feel the difference.
• Local food: Healthy, if your target is to transform into a walrus. You also might need that extra layer of protection while living an average Irish Quality ©®™ apartment.
• Rent rates: You really didn't want to live alone, did you?
• Irish Quality ©®™ housing 1: Even concrete rots.
• Irish Quality ©®™ housing 2: Houses last from father to son, if parents are teens. Young teens.
• Recycling: Some training still required among the natives.
• Wildlife: Anything bigger than badger have been eaten, killed, driven away or made suicide. The deer in Phoenix Park are actually Her Majesty's snack.
• Fat: Feeding the people with it won't keep the nation floating.
@work:
• Working hours: If you see the sunrise, you are late.
• Sametime: Efficent way to disrupt work since latest bluescreen.
• FYI's: There's always room for one more.
• IBM: International Brotherhood of Magicians -- by amount of faith the Customers have towards us.
• Canteen: Random food prices. New feature will be price determination by dice rolling.
• Team Night Outs: Expences per person may not exeed one-digit limit.
• Feedback from Customers: You'll get nailed to the wall.
• Passwords: Daily DNA tests would be less painfull.
• Employee option program: Be The Best and win a chocolate egg (worth €6,99)!!!
• Multi-cultural environment: Still blending with other Finns in pubs.
• Workforce: Experience is nothing, just hire newbies. It must be cheaper.
• Internet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWEjvCRPrCo
• Career option in the team: Depends who's your buddies are.
• Management: If you are Irish, you don't need training. You're natural.
• Criticism towards the Companiiz: Secure your escape route first.
Politics, economy and culture:
• Language: English evolving to Gaelic II. 1st version is almost extinct.
• St. Patrick's day: When everything turns to green, even beer. May be a side effect of envy.
• Northen Ireland 1: Cooler than southside. Also literally.
• Northen Ireland 2: They've escaped the misery!
• National Anthem proposal: Burglar alarms shrieked in G minor. Should become official at 2009.
• Coffee: Millenial experience of brewing beer and still can't brew coffee.
• Garda: Because Britons already have a band called The Police.
• Economy: Beware the brusting bubble!
• USA 1: Their ambassador has a bigger and nicer flat than the President.
• USA 2: 51st State.
• USA 3: More than 50% of St. Patrick's Day's parade is composed from Americans.
• Irish Customer Service: Customer's must serve the staff.
• Tax: http://keskustelu.plaza.fi/muropaketti/bbs/t499604
Trafic & Traveling:
• Dublin Bus Services: Exactly always on time. Unfortunately each bus has it's own, unique timezone they drive in.
• Smoking in bus: Only tobacco seems illegal.
• Dublin traffick: Now with 33% more rush hours than last year!
• Roadsigns 1: Only for suggestive use.
• Roadsigns 2: Stolen from USA.
• Roadsigns 3: Randomizing your way around. Now includes the famous Irish kilometers, each equipped with unique length.
• Driving 1: No Licene? No worries. Just pay more for incurance. Lots.
• Driving 2: Somebody in the Goverment is a major insurance company stock owner.
• Driving 3 (safe driving): It really has a crash on you.
• Driving 4 (roundabouts): Who needs a merry-go-round?
• Driving 5 (L-driving): Natural selection in progress.
• Flying 1: Locals have copied sheep's flocking instinct. Just look at the depature hall.
• Flying 2: Spend you vacation queueing at Dublin airport.
• Flying 3: Guaranteed daily madness.
• Bikes: Buy one and see how soon it will become socialism property.
• Roads: Narrow, lots of twists and bends, and sometimes crowded by sheep.
Alcohol:
• Beer & whiskey: Natural evolution of the culture, when local natural resources are limited to rainwater and grassland.
• Pint: a drunken half-a-liter.
• Woolshed: Soon they'll start servicing in Finnish.
• Bell: A colony of Nokia team. Also other IBM immigrants present on daily bases.
• Pravda: The truth is in there.
• Pubs 1: A way to save your heating bills.
• Pubs 2: Can't see enough of you collegues in the job???
Sports:
• Pub crawling: Faster propulsion method than driving in town.
• Fencing. Fencing is good for health. If somebody had just told, that you need swords for the sport.
• Protestant vs Catholic: Legal reason for barfights. The best ones have continued for centuries.
• Irish ice hockey: They've beaten Luxembourg (4-3).
• Football 1: Several footballish-type games developed over the years. Something to plan over in the pub.
• Football 2: Legal reason to kick something.
• Hockey: Baseball while running. Good training for riots.
Weather:
• Sunshine: Not to be confused with ufos.
• Wind: Nature's escape plan for desperates. Grab an umbrella and aim to Europe.
• Rain: I'm sure that Gaelic has more words for rain than eskimos has for snow.
• Snow: Causes more terror and chaos than al-Qaeda.
• A way getting a good tan: Stand in rain and you'll rust.
Mitäpä tähän enää lisäämään mitään =D
And finally some Notes, that Ireland and work has rised in my mind during this 1½ years.
Living & Lifestyle:
• Heating systems: Equalizing energy between the wall. You really shouldn't feel the difference.
• Local food: Healthy, if your target is to transform into a walrus. You also might need that extra layer of protection while living an average Irish Quality ©®™ apartment.
• Rent rates: You really didn't want to live alone, did you?
• Irish Quality ©®™ housing 1: Even concrete rots.
• Irish Quality ©®™ housing 2: Houses last from father to son, if parents are teens. Young teens.
• Recycling: Some training still required among the natives.
• Wildlife: Anything bigger than badger have been eaten, killed, driven away or made suicide. The deer in Phoenix Park are actually Her Majesty's snack.
• Fat: Feeding the people with it won't keep the nation floating.
@work:
• Working hours: If you see the sunrise, you are late.
• Sametime: Efficent way to disrupt work since latest bluescreen.
• FYI's: There's always room for one more.
• IBM: International Brotherhood of Magicians -- by amount of faith the Customers have towards us.
• Canteen: Random food prices. New feature will be price determination by dice rolling.
• Team Night Outs: Expences per person may not exeed one-digit limit.
• Feedback from Customers: You'll get nailed to the wall.
• Passwords: Daily DNA tests would be less painfull.
• Employee option program: Be The Best and win a chocolate egg (worth €6,99)!!!
• Multi-cultural environment: Still blending with other Finns in pubs.
• Workforce: Experience is nothing, just hire newbies. It must be cheaper.
• Internet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWEjvCRPrCo
• Career option in the team: Depends who's your buddies are.
• Management: If you are Irish, you don't need training. You're natural.
• Criticism towards the Companiiz: Secure your escape route first.
Politics, economy and culture:
• Language: English evolving to Gaelic II. 1st version is almost extinct.
• St. Patrick's day: When everything turns to green, even beer. May be a side effect of envy.
• Northen Ireland 1: Cooler than southside. Also literally.
• Northen Ireland 2: They've escaped the misery!
• National Anthem proposal: Burglar alarms shrieked in G minor. Should become official at 2009.
• Coffee: Millenial experience of brewing beer and still can't brew coffee.
• Garda: Because Britons already have a band called The Police.
• Economy: Beware the brusting bubble!
• USA 1: Their ambassador has a bigger and nicer flat than the President.
• USA 2: 51st State.
• USA 3: More than 50% of St. Patrick's Day's parade is composed from Americans.
• Irish Customer Service: Customer's must serve the staff.
• Tax: http://keskustelu.plaza.fi/muropaketti/bbs/t499604
Trafic & Traveling:
• Dublin Bus Services: Exactly always on time. Unfortunately each bus has it's own, unique timezone they drive in.
• Smoking in bus: Only tobacco seems illegal.
• Dublin traffick: Now with 33% more rush hours than last year!
• Roadsigns 1: Only for suggestive use.
• Roadsigns 2: Stolen from USA.
• Roadsigns 3: Randomizing your way around. Now includes the famous Irish kilometers, each equipped with unique length.
• Driving 1: No Licene? No worries. Just pay more for incurance. Lots.
• Driving 2: Somebody in the Goverment is a major insurance company stock owner.
• Driving 3 (safe driving): It really has a crash on you.
• Driving 4 (roundabouts): Who needs a merry-go-round?
• Driving 5 (L-driving): Natural selection in progress.
• Flying 1: Locals have copied sheep's flocking instinct. Just look at the depature hall.
• Flying 2: Spend you vacation queueing at Dublin airport.
• Flying 3: Guaranteed daily madness.
• Bikes: Buy one and see how soon it will become socialism property.
• Roads: Narrow, lots of twists and bends, and sometimes crowded by sheep.
Alcohol:
• Beer & whiskey: Natural evolution of the culture, when local natural resources are limited to rainwater and grassland.
• Pint: a drunken half-a-liter.
• Woolshed: Soon they'll start servicing in Finnish.
• Bell: A colony of Nokia team. Also other IBM immigrants present on daily bases.
• Pravda: The truth is in there.
• Pubs 1: A way to save your heating bills.
• Pubs 2: Can't see enough of you collegues in the job???
Sports:
• Pub crawling: Faster propulsion method than driving in town.
• Fencing. Fencing is good for health. If somebody had just told, that you need swords for the sport.
• Protestant vs Catholic: Legal reason for barfights. The best ones have continued for centuries.
• Irish ice hockey: They've beaten Luxembourg (4-3).
• Football 1: Several footballish-type games developed over the years. Something to plan over in the pub.
• Football 2: Legal reason to kick something.
• Hockey: Baseball while running. Good training for riots.
Weather:
• Sunshine: Not to be confused with ufos.
• Wind: Nature's escape plan for desperates. Grab an umbrella and aim to Europe.
• Rain: I'm sure that Gaelic has more words for rain than eskimos has for snow.
• Snow: Causes more terror and chaos than al-Qaeda.
• A way getting a good tan: Stand in rain and you'll rust.
Mitäpä tähän enää lisäämään mitään =D
posted by Ezmu at 9:53 AM
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